Extra! Extra!
Original "Breaking News" Was Wrong!
The wonders of medicine never cease. On Monday, August 19th, Kathryn and I sat looking at the 3-D machine in the Doctor's office. The blurry image began to become clearer and lo' and behold, we had our first look at our child's butt. That is right, folks, our little girl mooned us. She must be taking after her mother already. I am now going to be the proud father of a baby girl that will learn to fly fish, snow ski and of course pull for the Wolfpack.
This does put a slight change in contest out come. A winner has yet to be decided, so that dream vacation is still available. I have yet to make my suggestions, but Homer Jones is leading the list with my first choice, we can even call her HoJo. Having a baby girl is very exciting, of course this means I will no longer associate with my friends that have baby boys. Such friendships can only lead to trouble and grandchildren. This of course means that I can no longer be friends with Wes Stanley either. Please keep the names coming, and to add a new element into this whole thing, go ahead and add to her childhood pressure and suggest a future occupation. Good luck to all, she is supposed to get here around January 1st.

Breaking News!
It's A Boy! (70-80% sure)
This of course does not mean that we will not accept names for girls. We are always open to suggestion,
gender neutral names, though not really our cup of tea, are quite popular these days. I cannot see myself
nameing my son Alice Jones, but Kathryn could love it. Who knows. Keep them coming.
The contest is still up for grabs.
Name That Baby Contest!

The Jones Family has a new addition in the works. Kathryn Jones, the newest addition herself, has decided to pass the title of "rookie" on to someone else. Our little "package of joy" will be joining us sometime around the first of January, 2003. This of course is making all of us quite nervous because we fully expect the NCSU Wolfpack to be playing in Tempe around the due date. Some options on the delivery that have been suggested are, a live half-time delivery at the 50 yard line, be at Kathryn's side via cell phone from the 50 yard line. My favorite of course, is to induce labor in December (get the tax break), throw the whole tribe in the suburban and head out to Tempe for our li'l Packer's first tailgate experience.

More suggestions are welcome to help us cope in our dilemma. However, the issue at hand that is keeping Kathryn up at night is the naming rights. I offered to contact Enron, Walmart, and Skoal to see if they had any interest in naming rights, we would happily negotiate a deal, but Kathryn did not jump as quickly as I had hoped at the idea.

So now, it is up to you, the general public, to help us come up with a name that will allow us to get our lives back on track. My current choices are as follows: if it is a girl - Brooke Trout Jones and if it is a guy - Sebastian Jones (call him Bass). Kathryn is leaning toward some fanatical wacko names like "Lauren", or "Will".

The contest starts today, the winner will receive a free week stay at the illustrious manor at 743 Pine Hill Rd Estates in the either the George Revington Suite or the Katie Pope Penthouse. Meals are included. All suggestions will be posted in the order that they are received. Please email all suggestions to Durangob@hotmail.com. Good luck to all.

The "Give Cletus the Fetus a Name Contest" List

1. Fondue Jones Gender: either by Joey Fields
2. Fleishman Jones Gender: male by Ross Vanderlinden
3. Flotsam & Jetsam Jones if twins by Joey Fields
4. Li'l "E" in honor of The Big "E" by Joey Fields
5. The Knight Rider Jones "The" being the first name Gender: male by Chip King
6. Trigga Jones Gender: male by Allison Winslow-Medley
7. Stripey Jones Gender: neutral by Allison Winslow-Medley
8. Dissapointed Jones Gender: female by Ross Vanderlinden
9. Wee Billy Jones Gender: male by Hootie
10. Dunstin Snodgrass Gugenhiems Jones Gender: male by Hootie
11. Liver Lips Jones Gender: either by Hootie
12. Mule Skinner Jones Gender: male by Hootie
13. Wheelbarrow Jones Gender: either by Hootie
14. Soon To Be Taller Than Fletch Jones Gender: either by Hootie
15. Jar Jar Jones Gender: male by Hootie
16. Holly Kathleen Jones Gender: female by Holly Link
17. Roger Deerfield Jones Gender: male by Roger Williams
18. Sausage Jones Gender: male by Chuck Wagoner
19. Yeah Baby Jones Gender: either by Chuck Wagoner
20. Chuck Jones Gender: male by Chuck Wagoner (only if born Dec. 19th)
21. Scrot Jones Gender: male by Chad Lackery
22. Annabanasmell Jones Gender: female by Annie Link
23. Thax Jones Gender: Neutral by Annie Link
24. Agamemnon Jones Gender: male (to be just like his academic father) by Annie Link
25. Stich Face Jones Gender: either by Wes Stanley
26. Cuernavaca Jones Gender: male by Wes Stanley
27. Hutch Jones Gender: male by Wes Stanley
28. Veejay Jones Gender: male by Wes Stanley
29. Poon Jones Gender: unknown by LT
30. S.B. (Short Bus) Jones Gender: either by LT
31. Deerfield Williams Jones Gender: male by LT
32. Herm Jones Gender: hermaphrodite by LT
33. Dale Jarrett Jones Gender: male by LT
34. Just Another Jones (J.A. Jones) Gender: male by LT (pretty original)
35. Pat Jones Gender: undeterminable by LT
36. Babar Jones Gender: elephant by LT
37. Dr. Rosen Rosen Jones Gender: male by LT
38. Dr. Rosenpenis Jones Gender: male by LT
39. Dr. Rosen Jones Gender: male by LT
40. Melaina Jones Gender: female by Anna Forney Lackey
41. Keep Me Away From Wes Stanley Jones Gender: female by Neil Jacobsen
42. Don't Paint My Car On Valentines Jones Gender: female by Neil Jacobsen
43. Magic Johnson Jones Gender: male by Neil Jacobsen
44. Richard Harris II Jones Gender: male by Jimmy Popelka
45. Filet-O-Fish Jones Gender: either by Brian Robinson
46. Franco-American Jones Gender: either by Brian Robinson
47. Grandfather Mountain Jones Gender: either by Brian Robinson
48. Spit Jones Gender: either by Brian Robinson
49. Spitfire Jones Gender: either by Brian Robinson
50. Long Cut Jones Gender: either by Brian Robinson
51. Snuff Jones Gender: male by Brian Robinson
52. Ski Poles Jones Gender: male by Brian Robinson
53. Road Trip Jones Gender: either by Brian Robinson
54. Projectile Jones Gender: male by Brian Robinson
55. Hammer Lane Jones Gender: male by Brian Robinson
56. Not Too Young For Neill Jacobsen Jones Gender: female by Wes Stanley
57. Ben Dover Jones Gender: either by Annie Link
58. Asswipe Jones pronounce Azzweepeh (French) Gender: either by Fletcher Edens
59. "Surprise" Coulter-Jones Gender: either by Allison Winslow-Medley
60. Fokker Jones Gender: male by Chad Lackey
61. Timothy "I'll buy your friendship for my lunch" Jones Gender: male by Chad Lackey
62. Leroy Jones Gender: male by Chad Lackey
63. Tinky Winky Jones Gender: either by Chad Lackey
64. Phippininna Shauikwa Jones Gender: male (real daddy) by Chad Lackey
65. Lie Fung Jones Gender: unknown by Grant Prigge
66. Duzi Tong Jones Gender: unknow by Grant Prigge
67. Doufu Jones Gender: unknown by Grant Prigge translation: Bean Curd Jones
68. Wu Young De Jones Gender: unknown by Grant Prigge translation: Useless Jones
69. Clinton Jones Gender: female by Chad Meyers
70. Dufus Jones Gender: either by Chad Meyers
71. Jighner Jones Gender: either by Chad Meyers
72. Stinky Jones Gender: either by Chad Meyers
72. Ultra Conservative Jones Gender: either by Brian Robinson
73. Slimer Jones Jr. Gender: male by Brian Robinson
74. Boomba Jones Jr. Gender: male by Brian Robinson
75. Funky Butt Jones Gender: either by Brian Robinson
76. Don't Buy Anything From My Daddy (no matter what he says) Jones Gender: either by Brian Robinson
77. Dickie Jones Gender: either by Dennis Cagwin
78. Log Jammer Jones Gender: male by Chuck Wagoner
79. Occidental Jones nickname "The Ox" Gender: male by Grant Prigge
80. Neema Plant Book Jones Gender: male by Adam Tilley
81. Vladamir Jones Gender: female by Adam Tilley
82. Who's Your Daddy Jones Gender: either by Wes Elbert Stanley the III
83. Beowulfette Jones Gender: either by Babs Jones
84. Waitty Rifle Jones Gender: male by Babs Jones
85. Walleye Rod Jones nickname: Wall or Rod Gender: male by Babs Jones
86. Bryan Brocolli Eats His Sausage Jones Gender: male by Sam Jones (created by Len Anderson)
87. Jig Lure Jones Gender: male nickname Jig, female: nickname Lurie by Babs Jones
88. Buck Hunter Jones Gender: either by Babs Jones
89. Doe Sleigher Jones Gender: female by Babs Jones
90. Cabella Bean Jones Gender: unknown by Babs Jones
91. Donald Decoy Jones Gender: male nick name "Duck" by Babs Jones
92. Glock Magnum Jones Gender: either by Babs Jones
93. Tillemetry Jones Gender: female nickname: Tillie by Babs Jones
94. Coit Jones Gender: depends by Adam Tilley
95. Cabana Tuan Papanga Gender: who cares by LT
96. The Loom Jones Gender: n/a by Joey Fields
97. Wet Rat Sicko Jones (w/ appologies to T.A.) Gender: female by Joey Fields
98. Smell Me Jones Gender: male by Joey Fields
99. Dextrose Jones Gender: male with (apologies to Carpenter) by Joey Fields
100. Teji Jones Gender: male by Joey Fields

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