Hickory, NC - It would be easy for Mort " Hootie" Bowman to call it a day, even when he runs out of gas on Hwy 127 but not when he knows a fellow Trekkie like himself needs the sporks. Out of breath from calling his daddy to come and pick him up again, even though a gas station was 60 ft away, Mort expects his family to carry him through his time-honored task. Setting up "important" meetings with drunk chefs and coked up restaurant owners is a must if Mort is to make sure his wife thinks he is busy.

"Let's face it, their time is more valuable than mine. I mean they have waitress screw and bernaise sauce to piss in. I know that I have to get them the goods." Says Mort as he flips through his book of Secret Ways to Overcharge. "I have a lot of respect for these guys, you know, they swam over here, so I gotta make sure they can open their 15th restaurant on Hwy 70. It ain't like them government school contracts. Screw them, I don't care if little Ricky don't get his only meal of the day. They owe me." Mort of course if referring to the new schools and nursing homes that he is fleecing.

"It's the non-american born guy that I love dealing with. They always want to follow the rules, and they insist on over paying. Shoot, they make sure I know that their daughter is NOT for sale! And, they never want to haggle. The price is the price."

Mort has been nominated for several Golden Dishwashers, the goal that all restaurant equipment salesmen strive for. These nominations came when Mort cancelled Christmas and Arbor Day vacations with his family to make sure his order of plastic "Coke" cups reached the Italian joint on time, even though opening day was 6 months away. "Those guys are so damn honorable, I knew it was worth my marriage. Hey, they may eventually order two sets and that is when I know I got their business."

Hoot owes a large part of his success and business acumen in part to his best friends. "Those guys are always giving me hot tips. Yea, La Mexicana in Morganton was veritable gold mine. Those guys are great, they even hook me up with free chips when I eat there."

He just doesn't have enough kind things to say about his restaurant owners, "I love dealing with all the diversity, the well spoken english, and the honesty. I gives me such a rosy feeling that I smile when ever I go into work." Mort doesn't just talk a big game, he walks the walk as they say. Last month Hootie heard a rumor that one of his clients had a major problem. Hoot knew that if he didn't step up to plate himself, that he would be able to sleep that night. The problem: no sign. So using his design and knitting school skills, Hoot broke out the ply wood, brushes and paint. "Yep, now that guy has somethin' to be proud of. You can see my handiwork next to the Helliday Inn and across from the pawn shop on Hwy 70. Hell, I did it for Jose."

Believe it or not, Hoot is credited with saving the business and he did it all for free, at least he says smilingly, "I get chips for free, just like at La Mexicana." Congratulations Hickory, for having such a good deeder as Mort in your community!